Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Totally Random Thoughts

One thing I know is that your stress level is just as important to your physical health as to your mental health. My stress level this week has been pretty high with moving and packing as well as unpacking my classroom. Then today something else happened. have you ever offended someone and totally not meant to do so? I did that today- I asked a question regarding something that has been discussed for several months- but I didn't ask the person involved. I asked someone else connected with them- someone else who is also extremely busy. I was just trying to find out a time frame and I apparently stressed them out instead. That was totally not my intention and I got called on the carpet for it. I have apologized and yet, I still worry. I worry that I have lost a friend, I worry that this wound will take a while a to heal, I worry that my offense will eat me up inside. Because that's what it's doing. Even though I have apologized to both parties involved I am still worrying. My stomach churns and my mind constantly runs through ways to fix it. I think the reason that is happening in my mind is because I have yet to hear back from either party regarding the apology. If someone offends me I tend to let it go unless it's really big- at least I think I do- but maybe my perception is different. All that to say that I have cried off and on this afternoon, I have yet to eat lunch because the thought of food just makes me ill, and now I have no motivation to do things at home. I know this will pass and either my friendship will be okay or it will be on edge for a while. I'll just keep praying knowing I have done what I needed to do and if it's not accepted then I'll go the other way.

sorry if my thoughts are all over the place- that's how I get when I am stressed. Now, off to go get some things done!

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