The Way Home: Yoga for Grief

Bonnie Maeda is one of the teachers I trained with when I was in the Advanced Studies program at the Yoga Room in Berkeley, CA, and lately I've been taking a series of classes from her and Shari Ser on yoga therapeutics. I've known for some time that Bonnie was a hospice nurse as well as a yoga teacher, and that one of her specialties was teaching yoga for grief. Intrigued by the compelling possibilities of this aspect of yoga, I asked Bonnie if she would agree to an interview on this topic. 

Nina: Why did you decide to start teaching about yoga for grief?

Bonnie: It was a month following 9-11.The entire nation was in a state of shock and grief. My youngest son, Steven, age 29, was murdered. It paralyzed me. I could not move.

At the time I was working as a hospice nurse, and completing The Advanced Studies Program at The Yoga Room. It was purely the love and kindness extended to me and my family that allowed me to put one foot in front of the other. The yoga community surrounded me, and gave me strength. I was determined and committed to complete the program by June of 2002, although I didn't know how. I kept practicing.

In the midst of my early grief, I did graduate in June. That same year my dear friend and yoga mentor died of metastatic breast cancer. I kept practicing. But it was only 3-4years later, as I began to feel the healing process from multiple losses and devastating grief, that I began to understand how yoga had influenced the way home to my body and self.

I believe grief needs to be felt fully, and the process of grief given as much time as it needs. It then began to create a workshop to share my yoga experience of grief and loss called "Moving through Grief."

View of Jade Green Pond by Nina Zolotow

Nina: Bonnie, all I can say is thank you so much for sharing your story with me, and our readers. Can you tell us more about how yoga can help with moving through grief?

Bonnie:The practice of yoga is a practice of remaining present with what is. I wanted and needed to be present with my grief without allowing it to consume me. This was not always possible, but I do believe yoga gave me a sense of balance in this area as well.

Also, there are some common physical manifestations of grief such as fatigue, a sense of heaviness, anxiety, and lack of motivation, which I believe the practice of yoga can support and even improve. I believe each of our emotions have an energy that presides in the body. Yoga, with its movement and focus on the mind -body connection, can support an individual's experience of their personal grief response.

Nina: What are some of your favorite poses and/or practices for moving through grief?

Bonnie: My favorite poses vary depending on where the student is in their grieving process. This is not necessarily a chronological time. It is more how they are processing their emotions, and the physical manifestations at the time. But in general what I have found to be beneficial working with students are the poses that soothe the nervous system. Forward bends, such as Parsvottanasana to a chair or blocks, seated forward bends, and supported Shoulderstand. I also link two or three standing poses together in a flow-like sequence to create a rhythm for the body and the breath.

Breathing awareness is an important aspect of moving through grief. Bringing attention to the breath encourages the life force of prana to be felt. But I do not teach any prayanama for this class, as I am cautious in this area.

Nina: Is there anything else you'd like to say to our readers?
Bonnie: I'd like to share my Ardha Chandrasana story. It was four or five years after Steve's death. I was at a yoga retreat, and we were practicing Ardha Chandrasana. My balancing poses had continued to be a challenge for me. My teacher was talking about the strength of the standing leg, and I felt a shift in my whole being. I began to open my body and my heart, prana was flowing throughout. I knew then as I know now, life was forever changed, and I was learning how to manage my grief. I will keep practicing.

Nina: Thank you so much, Bonnie, for being so open, direct, and heartfelt. This whole whole interview is very powerful and inspiring, and I hope we'll be able to talk more about this, and other topics, in the future.

Bonnie Maeda, RN, is a trained Iyengar-style yoga teacher. She graduated from The Advanced Studies Program of The Yoga Room in 2001. Her approach is gentle yoga for health and healing as well as restorative yoga to promote relaxation and to manage stress. She believes in the benefits of yoga for every age, body type, and ability. See http://yogaroomberkeley.com/site/ for information about the classes Bonnie teaches at The Yoga Room in Berkeley, California.