A Series of Unfortunate Events

Today I want to talk about what I like to call the Series of Unfortunate Events. Not the books. These events make Claudia want to rip her eye balls out of the socket and even worse, it makes her talk in 3rd person.

Random food porn will be featured today because I'm hungry.

These events go something like this:

1. June rolls around, seemingly out of no where.
2. Girls realize it's summer and will need to partake in events that require a swimsuit.
3. Girls get on the scale, girls cry.
4. Girls post pictures to their motivation boards on Pinterest entitled "Lose 10 pounds by this weekend!" and "Tiny thighs in 6 days!"
5. 6 days later, the weekend rolls around, girls haven't lost 10 pounds, and don't have tinier thighs.
6. Girls decide they will eat 1,200 calories and work out every day.
7. Girls give up after a few days because they can't function like that.
8. Girls come to Claudia STUMPED as to why they can't lose weight fast.
9. Claudia writes down her blog's URL and tells them to read the entire thing starting from the beginning.
10. Girls still don't get it, so Claudia writes this post.

In case you're in a hurry and don't have time to read the rest of this post, let me give it to you straight right now: The number on the scale means nothing, it is physically impossible to lose 10 pounds of fat by this weekend, you cannot spot reduce your thighs and eating 1,200 calories will come back to bite you in the ass. Now I will explain.

Let's start with the number on the scale. I know I've posted before about why I hate the scale, however, I feel like I should restate it. I hate the scale. I hate it because we allow this stupid number to dictate how feel about ourselves, when really, if you want to go by a number, there are SO many other numbers that will tell you more about your body. For example, your body fat, how much weight you can lift, your mile time, etc. Furthermore, I hate BMI (body mass index) more than anything. It's complete BS. Based on your height and weight, you get a number. 18.5-25 is 'normal', 25-30 is 'overweight', 30-35 is 'obese', and 35-40 is 'severely obese'. This clearly doesn't take into account that muscle weighs more than fat because:

At 6'2 and an estimated 240 lbs, that's putting Arnold at a BMI of 30.8. Obviously obese.

Tom Cruise. 5'7, 166 lbs, BMI of 26. Totally overweight.

So stop it. Stop it now.

Now let's talk about why you can't lose 10 pounds by this weekend. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you read my post on why you should never go on a cleanse. And if you haven't, click here and go read it. Done? Cool. It is physically impossible to lose that much weight that fast. Whatever you lose cleansing or restricting, is water weight. And it's coming right back as soon as you put a carbohydrate in your mouth.

I love it when people say "I just couldn't live without carbs!" No shit. Literally, you can't. Phew.

People ask me a lot on my facebook page what a normal eating/exercising day looks like for me. So here it is:

Breakfast: 1/2 cup oats (makes 1 cup oatmeal) with 1 scoop protein powder and 1 tablespoon of peanut butter.

Snack: Varies a lot. Usually though a Lara Bar, rice cakes and almond butter, greek yogurt with honey and granola, an apple with peanut butter, etc.

Lunch: A huge salad with chicken or salmon, beans or 1/2 sweet potato, and 2 tablespoons of dressing. If I don't feel like a salad I'll do a turkey sandwich! Two slices of bread, a serving of sliced, organic, turkey, mustard, and avocado.

Snack: Same as above.

Dinner: Same as lunch for the most part or whatever my family is having!

After dinner snack: Usually a handful of chocolate covered almonds for my sweet tooth :)

My exercise routine is a little crazy but it's my thing. Monday/Wednesday/Friday I lift weights, Tuesday/Thursdays I do 40-60 minutes of cardio.

Basically my dream relationship.

Also, a little insight on exercise, you can NOT spot reduce areas. I see SO many posts out there like "the skinny arm work out" and the "7 days to skinny jeans work out" and it's just so ridiculous. I am not saying these aren't good work out routines. But if it only took 7 days to get into skinny jeans, we would no longer have an obesity crisis in America. But people know that we Americans want what we want and we want it fast. Hence why drive thrus are so popular. Yes, you should lift weights, but the only way to get rid of the fat above the muscle is by getting your heart rate up. So yes, you can do the "7 Minute a Day" work out. But if your heart rate is only up for 7 minutes a day, it's going to take you a long time to see results.

Eating clean is the ONLY way I have ever been able to see my abs. I have been doing ab exercises since I was 9 years old. Finally, at 21, I cleaned up my diet, eat around 2,000 calories a day, and I have abs (in the morning but hey, I have them!). By eating clean, I mean organic, trying to eat VERY rarely out of a package, and if you do eat something out of the package, make sure there isn't a laundry list of ingredients and that if you don't recognize any more than 4 of them, you don't put it in your body.

Now, eating clean and exercising the way I do, it took me 10 weeks to lose THREE POUNDS of pure body fat. Yes. TEN WEEKS. Ten weeks ago my body fat was 20.1% and yesterday, it was 17.9%. And I only lost three pounds because guess what? Muscle is SO much denser than fat! I lost inches, not really so many pounds. And best of all, my body is healthy and stable! I don't bloat after meals, I have energy, it's crazy and if someone told me a year ago this is where i'd be I would have never believed them. It takes TIME. And time is just about the only thing us girls aren't willing to give for a hot healthy body. We are willing to sacrifice our bodies, our minds, our moods, our favorite foods, but time? Absolutely not. CHANGE IT NOW! And it will NOT happen over night. It look my body a full year just about to balance out and to trust me again.

If you treat your insides kindly, they will respond kindly. Give your body delicious, wholesome, natural foods. Take your body outside on a beautiful summer day for a walk. Lay in the sun and let it soak in all that Vitamin D. Once you make peace, and let your body know you're going to treat it kindly, it will thank you in ways you've never felt before. You will have boundless energy, your skin will clear up, you will lose the bloat of all the yucky food and preservatives you've fed it with, and you will just glow. Trust me. Speaking from experience, I have never felt better, and I have never been less hungry :) Stay healthy, stay happy. x